We won't sleep together?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
