The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
