Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
