Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
