tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
