is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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