You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I had to cum in my sink.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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