Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
