Hey man sorry I got all grabby
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize