i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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