You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
