I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
