wrigley field is MILF paradise
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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