She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
