And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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