You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
