There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
