nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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