Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
