I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
