using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize