Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize