His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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