I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
