i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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