don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sorry my hands just texted you
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
