I cockslap morals
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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