I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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