On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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