It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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