at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize