Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
