Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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