We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
