think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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