Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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