I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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