that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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