it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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