So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
