I just cut my nipple shaving
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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