thus making me awesome and them whores
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
