Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
