You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
