my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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