he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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