If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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