your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
