Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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