Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
