Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
