I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
