I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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