i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My bed smells like the plague
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
