I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
