I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think your dad took our porno
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
