OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
