weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
