Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
