Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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