I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
