distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
