watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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