Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
