Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How does one acquire holy water?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
