distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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