Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
how does that bad decision feel?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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