She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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