The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
