I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize