So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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