Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
