guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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